Monday, March 21, 2011


One of the most popular causes for lack of self confident is becoming one hundred percent dependent on others to feel confident and worthy.
The problem with that approach is that if people judged you in bad way you will feel bad and sometimes worthless.
There is no doubt that in order to become really confident you shouldn’t pay attention to what people say about you especially the ones who don’t know you well.
Instead of unconditionally accepting people for who they are, why do we judge them?  There are many reasons we all fall into this trap.We might judge others because of the following reasons:
They are different from us.They do not agree with us its either by what we advice them.
We do not like them just because we think once they succeed they will be much more better than us or they are already much more better than us,They hurt us or offended  us .We feel rejected, accused, or insulted.We expect or look for the worst in them.We are angry at them.We want to hurt them or get them back.

The psychology of judging others 

The human mind was designed to fill gaps, we assume the intentions of other people when we have missing information and this leads to incorrect judgment most of the time
Our past influence the way we judge people, for example if a woman was betrayed by a man she might assume that any man who acts in a suspicious way is a cheater,or when we are rejected we judge people on what has happened to our past.
Sometimes we are quick to judge or form an opinion about others when we do not really know them or their motives.  We condemn them before we know the facts or truth about a matter.  How often we make quick judgments! 

 Who can judge you accurately?

If a friend spent 10 years with you, won’t he be more likely to judge you correctly? (provided that he doesn’t have any judgment bias) ,Of course he will be able to judge you better than someone who has just met you.
Now the question you should ask yourself is, who is the person who spent the most time with you?
Is he your father? Your best friend? Your partner?

Its you!!
You are the only one who have been with you since the beginning. In addition, you are the only one who have full access to your intention, your beliefs, your core values and dreams thus you are the only one who can judge himself.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. 
~Mother Theresa

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